-
The seven weirdest ways to die in a video game
There's no point in denying it: killing things in video games is cool. Gamers know it. Game developers know it. That's why so much creative energy is put into designing the most spectacular, ridiculous and gruesome death scenes possible.
But all this death in video games is getting a little clichéd. Guns, explosions, decapitations... sure they are fun, but we've seen it all before. How many times have you witnessed a zombie's head explode from a sawn-off shotgun blast, only to see his headless body move three steps forward and collapse? Too many times, I'm afraid.
This list was created to honour those games that do something a little different. Not necessarily the bloodiest deaths. Not necessarily the most creative deaths. Just the weirdest deaths ever seen in video games...No.7 - Wonder Boy
Death by RockStarting off our list is the 1986 Sega platformer, Wonder Boy. In this game, you play a slightly camp looking Tony Hawk wannabe who is off to rescue his girlfriend (what else could an 80's game hero possibly be doing?). Over the course of your adventure, you come across all manner of beasts and nasties. But one of your first challenges, at the very start of the game, is this:No.6 - Leisure Suit Larry
Yes, it's a rock. Not even a very large rock either. Just a small, stationary, inanimate pebble. But don't get cocky now. This rock can kill. Observe:
Wonder Boy approaches the rock.
The rock kills Wonder Boy.
It's certainly a strange death. At least to the naked eye, the rock seems to stay completely stationary. All Wonder Boy does is touch it. But something more must be going on, as this rock is one relentless killing machine.
Either that, or this rock is the lamest and most uncreative "baddie" to ever appear in a video game.
Death by STD
Leisure Suit Larry is another 1986 classic, but of a very different gaming ilk. As Larry, you play a sleazy virgin dude who just wants to get his rocks off. But living the life of a pick-up stud isn't all fun and games. If you don't play it safe, you can end up with some nasty downstairs surprises. Observe:
Larry approaches a dirty, diseased, and quite pixellated prostitute.
The two get down to business, but Larry can't shake the feeling that he's forgotten something very important.
Larry wakes up like this.
What Larry has just done is have sex with a prostitute without using a condom. His punishment is an unnamed STD that makes his crotch flash bright colours. As the text on the screen happily informs you: "It appears the hooker gave you a little more than you bargained for!".
Larry dies about five seconds later.
This death makes the weird list simply because it's a bit too realistic for a video game. Sure, the death occurs in seconds, and features flashing bright green private parts, but it's still a way we could all get into trouble.
This "safe sex" warning is also a very strange safety message for a game. How many racers do you see encouraging seatbelts? How many shooters feature guns with safety switches? How many beat 'em ups warn you about the dangers of eating food that has been lying on a dirty street?
Who would have thought Leisure Suit Larry would have had a redeeming moral message.No.5 - The Sims
Death by Starvation
This death is possibly the most evil and degrading death scene ever created. The Sims is supposed to be a family game. You feed, clothe and entertain people... and do other boring, girly stuff like that.
But if you feel the need, it's also possible to murder your sims in the cruelest of ways: by starvation.
To do this, you need to place one of your sims inside an empty room, and then remove the door. You then sit back, relax, and watch the slow and morbid process of human disintegration take place right before your eyes.
Your sim will squirm in agony, plead for help, and will probably even pee himself. Eventually he will clutch his stomach, beg one last time for your mercy, and then die in a most horrible fashion:
The entire dying process takes about four days. And to think The Sims is one of the highest selling, "family friendly" games out there. Makes Postal look like a little-girl's tea party.No.4 - Theme Park
Death by Rollercoaster
Theme Park is also supposed to be a light-hearted, family-friendly game. It's about building a theme park and making little children happy. Or so you thought...
But it's also possible to kill the kids at your park. The first step is to build a stupidly dangerous rollercoaster - one that would make even Evil Kinevel shit his pants (yes, even after he's dead). A rollercoaster with at least six dangerous drops like this should do:
If everything is done correctly, then the kids on your rollercoaster will just fly off into the air, never be seen again. Like this poor chap:
What makes this death even more bizarre is that your rollercoaster carriages will return to the start of the track with no passengers, and yet no-one seems to care. The kids will still queue to get on, oblivious to the fact they are only minutes away from death.
Weird serial killers should take note of this: you could easily kill thousands of kids a year using this practice.
A little disturbing hey? Actually, come to think of it, both Theme Park and The Sims were made by Electronic Arts. There seems to be a pattern emerging here.No.3 - Mortal Kombat TrilogyMortal Kombat has a well-earned reputation for pushing the boundaries of creativity when it comes to killing people. The series has a lot to offer: fatalities, friendships, babalities, animalities… but one death takes the cake: MKT's brutality.
Death by Brutality
This death requires a 10 hit button combination. The result is that your opponent explodes with a pink burst of blood. Doesn't sound that strange? Well, the weirdness is not in the manner of death, but what comes after it: an explosion of gore that often includes three skulls, four rib cages, and at least twelve limbs. Just check out this carnage:
One man cannot produce that many bones. Not even a Siamese twin could produce that many bones. I guess that's why the brutality is so brutal - it's death at its most physically impossible (to see the brutality in action, click here).No.2 - Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas
Death by Purple Dildo
This death really needs no explanation. In GTA: San Andreas, you can kill people using this 12-incher as a weapon:
It's weird. What more can I say?No.1 - Space Quest III
Death by... Sharp Metal Sheet?
And so we reach the weirdest death to ever appear in a video game. The honours go to the 1989 text-based adventure, Space Quest III. The weird thing about this death is that it literally makes no sense whatsoever. And for that reason, it's legendary.
The game starts off with the main character emerging from a crashed space ship. To the right of screen lies a grey metal sheet. There doesn't seem to be much else for your character to do, so most players will initially go and examine the strange metal sheet. But then this happens:
Confused? So is everybody else who has ever played this game. The following text appears on the screen soon after you die to offer some kind of explanation: "It's obvious that the metal sheet was sharper than you".
Well, that's certainly open to debate. To me, the sheet looks quite blunt really. What's more, your character never even touches it. And the sheet somehow manages to cut you in the stomach, almost slicing you in half, without even moving.
What kind of crazy, psychotic metal sheet is this? It remains one of gaming's biggest mysteries.
It's also a weird, weird, weird way to die. And a weird death that is hard to top.
9 comments:
-
another one, death by valve
in farcry, in the wrecked cargo ship area, you need to use a valve to open a door in the late part of it, if you use the valve and get to close to it, you will start spining too, and after a few seconds you will die...
got totally unprepared that little demon valve...
-
Ha Ha, brilliant!!
A Digg for you Sir!!!
-
There is always death by rubber duck in Crackdown. Nothing quite like taking some kids rubber duck from a rooftop swimming pool and using it to rain destruction on innocent civilians. Although the purple dildo comes pretty close.
-
Yep, I've been getting a lot of other suggestions since I posted this. Seems like there's enough weird video game deaths out there to write a small book.
Other possibilities include: Maniac Mansion, Duke Nukem 3D, Killer Instinct (death by boobs), Rollercoaster Tycoon, MGS (death by smoking), and every online FPS where people teabag each other after they get a kill (which, come to think of it, is pretty much every online FPS ever created).
My personal favourite suggestion: Frogger. You die when you jump in the water.
Maybe I'll just have to come up with a longer list...
Cheers for the diggs/comments.
-
Clearly Mr 'Zilla only 7 entries cannot constitute a definitive list of the weirdest video game deaths.
I for one think that the Korean guy who died after playing Starcraft for 32 consecutive hours should warrant a mention on your list:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/4137782.stm
-
Hmm Varin, you bring up an interesting point. Even though the original post focused on ways to die in the virtual realm, not the real world, I'm in agreement with you.
I'm guessing that, after dying in the real world, his uncontrolled StarCraft virtual presence ALSO got destroyed. Therefore, that still qualifies as one of the 'weirdest ways to die in a video game' as was the original criteria.
However, unlike the previous KSP-stated 7 ways, this one is definitely not the fault of the game developers and more of a helpful hint for gamers. Don't die when playing a game, your character may also die.
-
how about GTA IV. Death by swing set.
Go to the playground in the projects near your first home base.
There's a swing set there. an evil, demonic swing set. If you touch it the wrong way it will destroy you, your car or what ever gets in its way...
-
Yeah- the death-swing is here:
http://digg.com/playstation/Stay_away_from_that_swing_in_GTA_IV
you missed one. Death by staircase.
Tomb Raider Angel of Darkness was so badly designed, that when you were walking on stairs the Lara Croft would become uncontrollable. The turning speed was faster than a speeding bullet (if said bullet was traveling in a circle).
So by trying to correct your course on the stairway, or to just turn back, you could easily walk off of it. And if the stairway was high enough, you would fall to your death.
Ordinary stairwells became an extremely dangerous obstacle.